Ugh...Bad News

I woke up this morning hopeful that I would receive great news at transplant clinic about my liver biopsy that I took last Friday.  I left the hospital ecstatic and joyful, though the results hadn't gotten back, because the blood levels were doing so well.  I even got back to the house before Kelly woke up with little Noah, and was able to spend some time in the Word.  Psalm 63 grabbed my attention and left me in awe and inspired to pray as David did; to be able to praise God and trust him during the trials, instead of being on fire for him after they have come.  He had such a trust of the Father, knowing that it is God who is in control and only God who was able to deliver him.  I prayed that I too would have the same heart.

 

We went back to the hospital for my monthly diabetes check up, and things were going well again.  Kelly and I were having such a great time together we thought it would be nice for some of our hospital family to see little Noah and the great work God had done in our lives. 

 

Things changed dramatically when we entered the Organ Transplant area; the doctor told us that my liver was in the beginning stages of rejection again.  Even as I write those words, they haunt me.  "The beginning stages of rejection again."  This news, more than a train at full speed, hit us hard and shook us to our very cores.  I seriously thought the doctor was joking for he told me in his own way of unbelief; my liver seemed to be doing so great.

 

Apparently, in rejection, there are different types of inflammation around the liver, bile ducts, and arteries that they check in a biopsy.  Whenever white blood cells fight off infection, they show up and kill whatever doesn't belong there; they do this particularly with inflammation.  This is what is happening.  Though my functions are all reduced and my liver seems to be doing great, it is in the beginning stages of rejection (this is what led to my need for all transplants I have gone through) and the doctors want to counter this as soon as possible.

 

So where does that leave me?  Where does that leave my wife and baby?  Well, tonight, I have to be admitted to the hospital again.  I will stay overnight and into Saturday and Sunday where they will then send a nurse to come and visit our house to finish administering the medication.  I was told that Noah can't come on my floor of the hospital so I won't be able to see him for several days because of the immune systems of all patients.  This kills me.  They are going to give my worn out body massive amounts of more steroids, though I don't know how the human body can take so much.  God is the only reason I am not dead, for I really don't know how much more this flesh can take. 

 

Of course Kelly and I are immensely discouraged.  However, we don't feel unfairly treated in life nor are we angry.  There's really nothing we can do at this point because we have taken all of the medication, done all that the doctors have asked, and given the most important stuff up to God to take care of.  My idea of health is not this.  My concept of happiness does not include more rejection.  My picture of hope does not include these sort of hospital visits and my vision for the future of my life is free of liver problems. 

 

Yet here I write, about to be admitted into the hospital yet again, crushed, but not abandoned; pushed down but not destroyed.  I am blessed beyond the curse of death, this I know without fail, and will carry forth God's banner as an example to those who may doubt His faithfulness.  I have doubted in the past but the armor of God seems to be fusing to me lately, and I guess I am ready for this battle. 

 

Please send this out to as many people AGAIN for Kelly and I need the prayers of you all to help us and carry us forth into the fray of this next battle.  My love to you all…and I am so very sorry for this news but I have to go now…

In His Grip,

 

Daniel Parkins

 

danandkel@mac.com
dparkins1@cox.net
www.liverfordan.com
www.theremnanttour.com