Gives and Takes Away

Waking up from a nap, in the coolness of my room where visibly the sun had already gone past the horizon, I could feel the warmth from my heater's vent come down upon my tattered body.  Hearing a sweet sound in the distance, a smile came to my face and my side, for one brief moment, didn't ache.  Why?  Because I heard the faint cry of my new baby boy as my beautiful wife changed his soiled diapers.  It was music to my ears.

 

 

Lately I have realized something important; a truth so real it humbles me.  At this point in time, three weeks out of surgery from having received my third liver transplant, I have been severely blessed daily.  I can clearly see God's provision and manifestations of His love for us as we seek to live out each day at a time.  Sure, it is hard because both Kelly's and my bodies are tender and weakened, but we have tears because of the goodness of God.  Yet, it wasn't always like this.  Milton described different "levels" of hell, and in my life, I feel like I have experienced most of them here on this earth already, even just recently.  I know the meaning of pain and heartache; even to the point of removing my entire large intestine because of a painful disease that caused me to defecate up to twenty times a day, often pure blood.

 

 

At those low points in my life, the Lord definitely took away and it was indeed incredibly difficult to praise Him, let alone see Him for what He is; always in control.  It was a struggle, but through the prayers of my family and friends, and through God's grace, I was able to wake up to His sovereignty and still praise him for the other gifts He had given me.  When my day was filled with darkness, the stars of His grace were still piercing through. 

 

 

And now, God is giving to us abundantly.  It is overwhelming.  It is also something I pray I don't expect from God, as if we somehow deserve it for what we have been through.  I know that God isn't giving us these huge blessings because we have done anything or because we deserve anything; only because He chooses to so that He will receive glory.  That's what I need to be about: God's glory.  I know that at any point, God can stop the blessings from flowing into our lives; He has done that before.  But I also know, just as Job came to realize in the book that has his name, that even though the Lord gives and takes away, the name of the Lord will always be praised (paraphrased). 

 

 

Will we praise God in the morning, after a long and restful sleep where the birds are chirping and singing their songs to God?  And will we still praise God in the evening, after a long hard day where nothing goes right, things happen beyond our control and we have nothing to come home to save bills we can't afford? 

 

 

Thank you for giving us so much God, yet we will praise you when you withhold your hand from us.  We are about you and your glory, not about your gifts to us.

 

 

 

In His Grip,

 

Daniel Parkins
dparkins1@cox.net
www.liverfordan.com
www.theremnanttour.com