A New Engine in Me

The dawning of this Monday, knowing that I would have to yet again visit the hospital for a check up, started well.  I couldn't sleep past five or so in the morning so I got up to write some emails.  We drove through tons of traffic to reach the hospital in time and by 9:30am, were on our way to accomplish a few errands that Kelly needed to get done.  But what struck me as so encouraging today, more than just how I was feeling, was what the head doctor prescribed for me; protein shakes.  "You have a new engine in you Dan, one that works, so let's put some protein in you."  As he left the room smiling and not looking up from his notes, he paused and quickly added, "You know, at times it was pretty scary (during the actual surgery)…you must have had a little help from above."  More tears of joy.

 

A little help from above?  Are you kidding me!  My God, my rock and my King who reigns forever.  He gets all the glory, and reminds me each day as I share my story even with the people who help us with our phones or take our lunch orders, that we live in the realm of eternity now, where the infinite doesn't operate as we would think.  At first glance, I could complain pretty bitterly that a lot of my life has been wasted in pain and heartache (see: Daydreams!), that time has been lost of some sort or that things haven't gone according to plan.  But God doesn't operate in time, but in measures of His grace.  If I had to live out life according to my strength, my will, and my plans than yes, time is of the essence.  But I don't; none of us do.  God calls us never to "do"; as if we could change the course of our history.  I think the only "do" is to submit.  But even that is more passive than anything most of the time. 

 

I love the fact that God has done so much these past weeks, that even every surgeon on the transplant team, most of which don't recognize their Creator, have given glory to God because they just don't have an answer for what happened.  I love the fact that most of the time, people are praising God through my story and I haven't preached a word or done anything.  And that's how I really feel; I haven't done anything.  God has.  So of course, only He can get the glory.  And now, he has given me a new engine to operate my body and break down proteins so it can be built up.  Did I do that?  Nope.  Do I need to worry about how they are going be broken down, or how much weight I need to gain, or a host of other things that need to progress in me?  No.  God takes care of all of that; He always has and always will.  So I will continue to not focus on "doing," but on "being" a lover of God and of His grace to me.  I will spend time in His garden with the new engine in me…

 

Dan Parkins

 

If anyone ever has any spiritual questions about these blogs, feel free to email me at dparkins1@cox.net.  I know our God can and will encourage you with the truth…